Movin On Up

Hi, My name is Shannon and I'm LAZY...I almost didn't pass high school and then joined the Navy. After I got out of the Navy I tried going to college but, because of other....issues, dropped out of all the classes I tried. Needless to say I'm not a school kinda person. I have spent the past year on a emotional and sometimes spiritual journey of self revelation (ya like that it sounds fancy :D ). At the beginning of 2010 I started in counseling for issues marital and personal. What I found was a lost little girl with daddy issues and no self esteem. Penny (my therapist) was my angel. She helped me save me, from well me. I have this little issues were I try to bottle up everything inside of me until I explode and act out in the most hurtful way possible and it never ends up good for anyone around me or myself in the end. I am happy to say that I have greatly improved in this area. For me though I had to hit bottom before I would go for help. Not only did I hit bottom it was like the the big bang, shook my world to the core. What does all this have to do about my horrible educational career though? I was so inside my own head with my issues to succeed at anything. The last 5 months or so it has really been on my mind to try and go back to school. So, yesterday I put in an application to Columbia college. I have an interview with an advisor on Tuesday. Needless to say I am not submitting my transcripts from the previous community college I tried to attend. Who cares though, this is my fresh start! I am a different person then that lost little girl. I am a (semi)confident women with a fabulous marriage and on the fast track to emotional and physical recovery. If all goes well and I get excepted to Columbia I will start classes in March, doing accelerated courses (8 weeks instead of 12). I will keep you all updated :D

Happy Commings and Goings

"Have patience, and endure"

-Shakespeare, Much Ado

Here we are 2 days left in 2010. Everyone is making resolutions and picking out a word to live 2011 by, but I don't see the need. Every year I make resolutions and promises that I swear I will succeed at. Well big surprise....I don't. This year has taught me allot of thing about myself, my marriage, my lifestyle. I don't want to resolve to do this and to do that, I want to take what I have learned about myself and my life and bring it with me. Yes I have goals for this year, and yes one of them is to loose weight. I have my Lap Band and I plan to work it for all it's worth but that's not a new goal. My focus is to go on with the goals I am already working on, like not putting off doing things with friends or my husband. I want to wear the shirt that someone says looks good on me, not put it back on the rack because it's out of my comfort zone. Also, my most important goal for a couple of years, be able to ride on a roller coaster with my husband. These like I said are not new goals, I have been working at these for a long time. Yes, 2011 will be the year I make all this happen but the ability to do this was put into motion in 2010. So I will bid 2010 goodbye with a mixture of relief and longing for all of the roads I traveled this year, for all the battles I fought, whether won or lost, for all the milestones surpassed and cut short. 2010 was the year my life started turning around for the better, mentally and physically. I leave you with another quote from William Shakespeare and wish you much fulfillment this new year on whatever journey you take.

"Courage and comfort, all shall yet go well"

-Shakespeare, King John

Food = Crack

I hate food! I mean yes I enjoy eating, if I didn't I wouldn't be at this point in my life sitting here with an almost healed stomach and a piece of silicone around an organ. But I HATE FOOD! I hate my willpower and I hate how they make me feel about myself! I was doing so well until that first piece of chocolate on Christmas eve, now I'm like a crack addict who had there first hit in years. I do great all day then when I get home I make my dinner, Tonight it was spaghetti with mushrooms, onions and tomatoes. oh and don't forget the loads of parm cheese. and the 6 slices of turkey, and the Popsicle and the chocolate covered pretzels. It's like someone else takes over my body, goes to the fridge and says what can I eat right now. I know I won't have a change of habits overnight, but seriously does it have to make me feel 2 inches tall in the process!!! I am smack in the middle of bandster hell, my first fill can't come soon enough!

Edamame, How Wonderful You Are!

I don't know about all of you out there but, I was told to eat 3 meals a day with no grazing. I get up at around 5am and usually don't make it back to bed until about 10pm. That is a long day with only 1000 - 1200cals a day. I have to factor in a snack somewhere. My go to lately has been edamame. For those of you who don't know edamame it is the wonderful soybean (before it hardens). This wonderful little source of protein and green goodness is in my mind make the perfect snack. The closet way I can describe it's flavor would be a cross between a pea and a peanut, but more meaty and savory then it sounds. A 1/2cup is 8g of protein! Only 100cals and 2g of fat! For any of you that have problems with low Iron, like I do, these little beauties have about 10% of your daily recommended intake. I get my edamame in the freezer section. I don't know how your market will sell them but I buy about a pound at a time. this lasts me about 5, 1/2cup servings. To make these puppies you bring a pot of water to a boil then dump the whole bag in still frozen. bring it back up to a boil and cook for 5mins. I add a touch of salt on the pods so when I eat the little joyous beans later I get the salt. Some stores sell them already shelled. I don't prefer them cooked out of the pod, they seem to get tough and rubbery. Edemame goes great in salads to replace meat as a protein, and they go great as a side dish to a piece of chicken or fish. The flavor really stands on it's own. What is your go to snack?

I'm So Glad It's Over...

Christmas is finally come and gone. I got some wonderful presents, a coach purse and some Sapphire earrings are at the top of the list! But Christmas found my butt and ran me over with every ounce of chocolate and piece of cheese it could find! Kinda like this picture I could have hit a food coma, I haven't grazed that much in a very long time! Now that it is Monday and the start of another work week I refuse to weigh myself till after the New Year. In my mind there is no point to stepping on that scale to see the gain from 2 days of crap eating. So my plan is to eat good and normally all this week and after the first then let myself step on the scale and see what happens from there. After eating healthy for just over a month it is amazing how easy it is to fall back into those old habits. This little eating interlude has shown me just how long of a road this is going to be. I have habits that have developed and held strong for 24years, they aren't going to change overnight. I have noticed allot of you out in blog land blog your daily food intake. So I think I am going to start doing that. I know an average of how many calories I take in normally but by the end of the day when I am trying to find something to eat in the house I really have no clue the caloric range to tread in. So check out my food log tab at the top. Also I have been trying to get in at least 1 1/2 liters of water a day. Since surgery and trying to follow the rules I have found it difficult to get my water in. Anyone else had this problem? I hope Santa was good to all of you!!