Monthly Weigh-In and Blabber

Epiphany!
I did some math (because I am bored in biology class) and if I try to lose about 6lbs a month for the rest of the year I will be at goal by my 2 year bandiversary!

That would be an awesome bandiversary gift to myself.

This all does depend on if we have a successful pregnancy before the end of the year. Fingers crossed.

So today is the last day of April and my weight is....260.2. I am a couple pounds up because of good old aunt flow came to town a couple days early. But I am still impressed with that weight. I started April at 264.8 and saw 258 at one point. I think once my body evens itself out from the TOM it will be back down again. So can I technically claim 6lbs lost for April right?

We played a couple rounds of drunken laser tag this weekend and I am sure that had a lot to do with a good weight in this morning. I kind of watched what I ate over the weekend but still had some crap here and there. I was as sweaty after 2 half hour rounds of that as when I do my full 80 min workouts. A good choice of activities that I would never have been able to do 92lbs ago! Love it! I am fully looking forward to the wonderful new activities I can participate in once we get back to California.

Not much else is happening today. It's Monday, blah. My last full week of work before the move. I do technically have a full week next week as well but I am taking Monday and Tuesday off for pack-up and pack-out and the last couple of days I have to drag my tushy around this wonderfully messed up campus and check out.
Alright well I have to get back to work.
Hopes it fun my darlings!

Uncomfortable Shrinking and Acceptance

I have always loved laying on the floor to take a nap. I like to lay in front of the fireplace on a cold day, or lay down and read a book, or watch TV.

It is no longer comfortable. *sigh

My bones, are sticking out. That should be in itself an amazing thing. I can see hip bones and my hubby loves jokingly gnawing on my ribs, (I love the weirdo of mine) but they are uncomfortable.
I can no longer lay flat on my stomach on the floor or even in my bed. (we have a really firm mattress) I have to put a leg out to the side to lift up my body just a bit so I am comfortable.

A good problem to have?

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I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I will lose all my weight but it will just take time. Just because the weight loss is slow doesn't mean it isn't happening. That first year post-op is amazing! your losing weight crazy fast and your body is changing and almost everyday you are finding an NSV to celebrate. Your like a little kid with there eyes being opened to all the wonders of the world for the first time. Then you grow into that teenager who just got into their first car accident and it was slamming head first into a wall. (at least for me it felt that way)
This is truly a whole different life and not just a quick fix. I have noticed my body reshaping itself to how it was meant to be. This last 58lbs are going to reveal the real me. The first 92 has been a shrinking blob but now the sculpting begins. I am very excited. There are without a doubt going to be some things needing to get touched up. I have varicose veins that I want to look into getting taken care of, some are protruding a little and my husband has already promised me a boob job and a tummy tuck after we have kids. (so in like 6 years maybe, lol) I can't wait to see what I look like when I reach goal. I can't say when this is done because it is never done.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and love yourself in whatever stage you are in this journey. It's an amazing one!

Band Appointment

I saw my surgeon today.
I thought I had not lost a pound since November, as it turns out I have lost 11!

I really need to keep track of my dates better. It was a nice ego booster to know that even though my weight loss has slowed it has not stopped.

He reassured me that the pain I have been having on and off is not really anything to worry about. I don't have any symptoms that he is worried about. He did tell me to try some zantac or prilosec for a couple of weeks to see if it gets better. He thinks I just might have some irritation of the stomach lining along with my poop issues. This is the first time going in that I did not get a fill. He offered but I don't think I am anywhere needing one.

That being said I think I will get a second opinion once I get to California about my pain. My surgeon has never really instilled to much confidence in me. The only reason I went with him was because my insurance gave me 2 options and the other one is an hour and a half drive north. That was just not going to work with work. I am looking forward to a better doc in the future.

I hope you all have had a good week. This post is very one topic today. I have to go take a shower and go to bed because some how I can't seem to get there before ten at night in the last couple weeks. I'm draggin! Amen for coffee (i know I am back on the coffee wagon, ugg!)

Love you guys....till next time :)

Ethics, dun dun dun

Wow were has the time gone! I feel likes its been a month since I posted.
Life has been in full swing trying to get ready to move in a couple of weeks. There is outings and purging of stuff and painting and going away parties, school to finish up and the list goes on and on!

I have not weighed myself since I last let you guys see into my dark love story of scale compulsion. my eating has been ok, nothing to be excited about. I have gotten lots of protein in and lots of water. Hell last night I did 80mins on the elliptical, I am planning to jump on for the long tonight too.
I had some concerns last time that I was not eating enough calories. What I had listed was what I allot myself while at work. I leave a good amount of calories open for dinner because my life tends to be a little hectic and depending on the day I have no idea what dinner may bring. Don't you all worry about shrinking little me though I eat plenty of food. My band was just having a bad day that particular day. At work we have been surrounded by floor refinishing chemicals and I think it had a lot to do with that for some weird reason.

Anywhoo I wanted to thank all of you for inspiring me to write a paper for ethics class. I wrote it on teen weight loss surgery. I know people still have a problem with adults who get the assist but I wanted to know what people thought about kids getting the assist and I have to say it was eye opening. An 11ur old girl in mexico had a gastrectomy.
I decided I was against kids getting these major things done to them. I would like to know how you all feel about it though. Leave a comment if I have peaked your interest.

Well the clock is a ticking and I have a workout to get in before bed.
Love ya all
big sloppy smooches!!

p.s.
I told you all I bought me some shorts for the first time ever so I thought I would show you a picture.

shorts ans horizontal stripes! What What!!!

UGG!

Today sucks on the eating front.
I had a hard time getting my yogurt down this morning and I could only get about half of it in at that. I spent about an hour trying that. I sipped on a small cup of coffee for about an hour and am having a little bit of difficulty with water too. I can usually eat a boiled egg in about 3 mins and be fine. Right now I am sitting staring at the last couple of bites that has taken me awhile too. I ate half, got up took care of a patient and came back to it. I will try it out here in another minute.
Last night I had a hard time with dinner too.
Yesterday at lunch I PB'd for the first time in a couple of months and I think I am feeling the effects of that. At least I can get a little bit of solid protein down.
Today I planned my food out as follows:

Breakfast: oikos peach yogurt. 130cals 12g protein
Snack: Boiled egg. 78cals 6.3g protein
Snack2: Boiled egg. 78cals 6.3g protein
Snack3: 3oz Shrimp. 135cals 16.5g protein
Lunch: my home made chili 1 cup. 154cals 16g protein
Dinner: possibly left over home made turkey mushroom soup. unsure right now though

So right now if I can get it all in my work meals will equal 574cal and 56.8g of protein.
You might notice that I plan out 3 morning snacks. That is because I eat breakfast at 6 a.m. By 8:30 or so I am hungry because I am running around all morning. Then I snack again at about 11:30ish and eat lunch around 12:30ish. The extra snack is there in case I want to eat a little more at one of my snack times.

Fingers crossed that food goes down a little better as the day progresses.
Have a good Wednesday everyone :)

Poopy Glue Shorts

I have a few things to talk about today :)
Lets start off with a couple NSV's shall we...

One of my biggest goals with weight loss was to be able to were my wedding rings again. They were on a necklace for over a year because they were just to tight to get on any more. When I could finally get them on again I posted about it HERE. Well today I was taking off a pair of gloves to throw in the trash but I had to set them down on the metal table next to me and thank goodness I did! I heard a clank and looked down and saw my ring off my Left hand was gone and inside the gloves I was going to throw away. So not only do the fit my rings are getting to the point that they are falling off! So I have to find a quick fix because I don't want to get a bar placed in it just yet so I can still wear it if I swell up during pregnancy. So I hot glued it for now. It gets the job done without costing money or ruining it. That's a great NSV to me because that means I am smaller now then I was at my 1 yr anniversary when I got this.

Next NSV is that I bought shorts for the first time ever outside of needing them for when I was in uniform. I have never willingly worn short for as long as I can remember. One pair is dark and looks like cut of jeans and the other is a lighter pair and has patch work and a little bit of lace on it. My hubby was not with me when I bought them and I did not leave the dressing room when I tried them on. He did say that my legs looked so different when he inspected them. (not as cellulite like) I have since worn them around the house and in front of the other navy wives around here and felt not only fine about myself but didn't care. It was liberating my darlings! Another powerful NSV. 

So now onto poop. I have had issues with constipation since being banded. I have started using fiber powder in my drinks about twice a week. It seems to work and not leave me feeling to bloaty and crampy. Have you guys had issue with constipation and what do you do for it...

Ok my homies I hope you had a great Monday and I can't wait to peruse the blogs in a minute. 

True Dat

"It takes a little courage, and a little self-control. And some grim determination, if you want to reach the goal. It takes a great deal of striving, and a firm and stern-set chin. No matter what the battle, if you really want to win, there's no easy path to glory. There is no road to fame. Life, however we may view it, is no simple parlor game; But its prizes call for fighting, for endurance and for grit; for a rugged disposition that will not quit." - Navy SEAL Master chief

Have a great weekend my dears :)

Oops, I did it again...

Well I said I wasn't going to weight myself for the whole month of April. I failed. I work in a clinic and I wear scrubs every day. They are wonderful, comfortable and forgivingly stretchy! Not concussive to weight loss though. Last night I had class and I wore a pair of jeans that I just washed and the were tight and uncomfortable as all hell. All I could think was WTF Batman! How have I gained this much!?! So I hopped on the elliptical last night for an hour, drank a liter of water and ate a boiled egg then went to bed. I jumped on the scale this morning expecting to see 268 or worse but to my great surprise I weighed in at 260!! That makes me ecstatic!!! I could have sworn I was up with how tight those jeans were last night. but hey I will take that weight!
So that puts me down 4lbs since April 1rst!
Those are new jeans too. I buy the same brand and cut for every pair I have and it's still hit or miss. Sometimes they are to short after the first wash and tighter then a pair of new spanks. weird.

Also I got some great news today...I GOT THE JOB!! A couple days ago I told you I had applied for a job working in the hospital on base and i got it. I start on 21rst of May. So no Oregon for me, but the cats will appreciate that. They wont be in limbo move for a month. That's the only sucky part about it.

So we are going out to celebrate tonight. I will make the best food choices that I possible can when out and get on the elliptical for an hour before we go to dinner.

This is turning out to be such a great day!
I hope all of you are having as good a day as I am having!

Fail

Ok so I failed on the no processed foods. I am starting over. Where the heck did I find the will power to do the pre-op diet? It really makes you wonder why we have such selective will power.

Last night we went to red lobster. I had a cup of lobster bisque which is 210 caloreis. and I only had a small bite of a biscut (I know I will get stuck if I try to eat a whole one) and a half a pound of snow crab legs. That is only 90cals if you don't dip it into the butter they give you. I of course did and that is of course 350cals!!!! Thank goodness we dont do that very often. So dinner by itself was 650calories and that doesn't include the mudslide that I drank before dinner.
Side note: pre-op I would have eaten multiple biscuts, a whole bowl of soup (not just a cup), a whole seperate meal of either fried nasty seafood or pasta, dessert and a couple of drinks and still not have been full. Crazy difference!

So I am starting over. I will say I have completely cut the caffeine out. I had a headache pretty much all weekend but hey it's gone. My veggie and fruit intake is up too but my chocolate intake was very high this weekend as well. 2 bags of these this weekend....

So cutting that back out. So round one was not successful round 2 will be though. I am getting out my running gear tonight and going for 3 miles with the hubby. I have yet to schedule a 5K to do.

I feel almost out of control. I know I am the one controlling what goes into my mouth but it doesn't feel like it. I think I just have so much going on right now that I kinda just feel lost and out of control. We are moving to a place that even though I want to move to brings so much uncertanty. Looking for a job, waiting to start back up with school, the move itself, getting unpacked, worring about my animals during the move. I know taken in stride it's not a lot but some times it just gets over welming. Not to mention this past weekend I have had some major baby issues. I would be 26 weeks this week and I keep seeing everything everywhere that reminds me that I am not expecting my baby. I keep wondering if it would have been a boy or a girl. I think about how big my belly wound be and it just hurts like nothing else. It also doesn't help that 19 people in my building are expecting offspring, my baby sister in law has a 1 month old now and my older sister in law is 14 weeks along. Some of the testing for the infertility came back and we have to take another round of medication so we can test again before we start trying again. So that is going to be at least June now. My hubby says I should go talk to my theapist but from everything I have read all of this is completely normal to feel. So I don't know. I am happy for everyone just sad about my babys that I have lost.

We are moving to Camp Pendleton, Ca on May 15. We were planning on going up to Oregon to visit family for about 20 days between here and there, but I might have a job. If I get the position that I got called for I will not be making my way out to Oregon. Hubby will be going it alone after he gets me to Cali and in our new place. It would be ideal if I got this job and things will hopefully fall into place.

Sorry for the long depressing post, I really am having a good day. I promise :)
I hope you all have a great Tuesday...HUGS

Cave Man

I am an addict.
Sweets and caffeine are controlling my life.
I have not lost a single pound (that I know of) since November 2011
This needs to come to an end

I am calling this my cave man phase.

I am not eating anything that is processed. I am not eating any dairy. If I can't recognize what meat it is that I am going to eat then I'm not eating it. If I can't pick it and eat it then I'm not eating it.

Basically I am eating nothing but fruit, veggies and meat. I am doing this to cleanse my body of all that crap that it's craving and to give me a clean slate. I am doing this because it is healthier. I am doing this also to help my body better prepare to get pregnant again. (it can't hurt, right?)

I would like to hit my 100lb mark before we start trying to get prego again (original goal for baby makin) and this is what I am doing to jump start things. It still amazes how much food you can eat if you eat healthy!

So for work I have brought with me 4 boiled eggs, 2 1/2 cups broccoli, 1 cup cucumbers, 1 cup strawberries and 1 cup watermelon. That is a lot of food and it is not even 500 calories! Love it!

Ok, happy Friday people! I hope you all have a great weekend.

Calender

For those of you who have been hanging around with me for a while you might remember last summer when I went a couple of months with only weighing once a month. In one of those months I had lost 12lbs! I was kicking my ass though. So I am going to spend the month of April trying this little experiment again. I will post a calender with days that I have worked out and avoided the scale. So I have to focus on working out and eating right if I want to see a loss. I want to be 100lbs down by my birthday on 16 July and I want to see that pretty little 5 after the 2 on the scale before we leave in May.

So here is a preveiw of my calender.

I am going to be trying out some new recipes I have acquired from other bandsters and see how things go :)

Hope you all had a great Monday!

Holy Pants Batman!

17months post-op. 88lbs lost and I will find the motivation in as many places as I can to keep going! 

I throw out all the clothes that are to big for me once I shrink out of them. I don't want any of them laying around so I can rationalize that its ok that they fit...it's not! Today I went to get a new pair of jeans and just for shits and giggles decided to hold up the size that was tight on me pre-op.

From a size 26 - currently an 18, and still shrinking. 

These last couple months have been a real challenge for me. I am finding motivation anywhere I can. This was a big one for me today. 

Till next time peeps! Stay motivated, Hugs.