Sick

So this last week I have been horribly sick with bronchitis and out of work most of the week. I am slowly getting better and going back to work tomorrow. I'm so excited :( Have you ever had one of those weeks when you realized that the people you work with really only care that you don't show up to work because it inconveniences them? Well that was my week. I started really getting sick on Sunday so i didn't go to work on Monday and I went into the doctors and he gave me some cough syrup and looked at me like I was over reacting so I went into work Tues. and could only last till about 1000. this whole time I'm coughing that deep in your chest raspy cough that really hurts. So I go home and don't come in on Wed. and I got two calls basically making sure that I was really sick and that I would be in on Thursday. So I went in on Thursday coughing my brains out feeling like crap and 2 bottles of cough syrup down. No one asked how I was feeling they just stuck me in a corner away from all the patients saying that I sounded unprofessional. I stayed the whole day and I came home after work and was so drained just from being sick that I slept in-between coughing for an hour and a half. I called out on Friday and went back to the doctors and low and behold I have bronchitis and finally get some antibiotics and cough syrup that works! Slowly getting better, and I am not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. I'm still coughing though so I hope it annoys the crap out of them all :)

Plus side I have my first appointment this week. It's my psych evaluation on Tuesday. I'm interested to see what stuff we go over in the appointment. I will let you know how it goes. Ta ta for now!

5 Minutes A Day Re-Start

Recently I have become a avid reader of Lynn's Weigh. The last post really stuck with me. I have lost 19lbs so far and that is awesome and yes i am going to have my surgery probably in October but when I'm still in pain most of the day and it hurts to get up and sit down I am only hurting myself. I kept putting it off thinking well once I get more weight off it will hurt less and I can workout better, but that's not the case. I sit at work most of the day, I sit at home most of the time, I sit in the car. Most of my life is sitting doing allot of nothing. On top of that I feel extra lazy because I have an elliptical sitting in the bedroom right upstairs. Lynn said that when she was obese she was afraid to see it and I know how she felt. I know I'm fat and I joke about it all the time! It's scary to admit your not perfect no matter how thin you are. I don't want to hurt any more. I am to the point of no activity were even sitting in a chair hurts. Being lazy hurts! But I don't want to be lazy anymore! My new goal is that whenever I am at home and I'm not doing anything and I think about it I am going to go upstairs and do 5 mins on the elliptical. I know it doesn't sound like much, but its a start. Going from doing nothing to doing spontaneous little workouts I hope will slowly build up my muscles to the point I don't hurt any more. I have come a long way from being in the Navy and working out 2 hours a day but I will get there again. That is my promise to myself. I don't owe my health to anyone but me.

Absent

Sorry I have been absent from the blog scene for short minute this week but work has been hectic and like a couple of post before said I am just waiting right now. I do think I am coming down with a cold too. Coughing up some stuff. Yuck! I'm doing some project around the house. Fixing a comforter, making some lip balm, a decorative chalk board and soon I'm starting a batch of cold process soap. Right now I'm waiting for the chalk board to dry to apply the last or second to last coat. Thats all thats going on right now. Hope whoever reads this has a great rest of the weekend!

My New Haircut

In order to promote a good mood and overall grandeur and maybe a few feeling of hotness from the hubs I got a sexy new haircut. Its amazing what a little snip snip can do for the self esteem. I was planning on growing my hair out but my patience grew thin and the hair style book came out. So I will post a picture as soon as I can get so ta ta for now!

Waiting

I feel like I am at a stand still waiting for my appointments to come around. I understand its only 2 weeks till they start up and all but ugg its a long 2 weeks to wait! I am so impatient!

New Outlook

My new mantra is fastly trying to become: food does not equal pleasure or comfort. I don't know how well it's working because I think I should add bored into the mix as well and yummy in there to. I have been trying to reprogram my mind but it's difficult to say the least. My husband has what called a PFA (physical fitness assessment) coming up for the Navy. They do this twice a year and for about two months before its all diet and self control and then after its over we go out for dinner at a favorite restaurant usually red lobster. I'm starting to think of my life after banding as nothing but self control and I'm planning out that Red Lobster meal before I have to start doing my surgery prep. It feels almost dirty to think of myself as that much of a fatty, but I when I really think about it I will only be ably to eat about 3 - 4 tbsp of food. Measure that out, it's not very much. The doctor said by the end of one year I might be able to eat a half a sandwich and I don't think he was talking about a 6" from Subway I think he meant a little tiny white bread sammy from the cupboard at my house. On one hand I feel like a complete fatty looking forward to my last meal and on the other I just feel dirty. I think I should still try to hold tight to my mantra though and aim for that improvement. What do you think?

Appointments Galore!

Different insurance company's require different things when putting in place a foreign body into the system that is going to be there for a while...o say more than ten years or so. Mine thankfully doesn't require me to wait the mandatory 4 to 6 month weight loss period that other companies are imposing on there patrons. Time is ticking very slowly and fast for me. Today I made 2 more appointments that are mandatory in my surgery countdown. They are a fitness evaluation and a nutrition evaluation. I'm not to sacred of either at this moment in time actually. There isn't much that either person can tell me that I don't already know. I mean come on I have been fat most of my life and in the Navy then kicked out of the Navy for it. I know how to work out just getting off the couch most days to do it seems more of a battle then getting on the freaking elliptical and doing it. Also I have lost about 16lbs as of late and it's not because this busty beauty has been dragging it to the gym. I have completely revamped my eating habits. It does work people. Who would have thought that a complete diet overhaul would let you lose almost 20lbs? Not me I thought you would have to go to the gym. But here we are about a month later and well you get the drift.

I do kinda understand, the insurance people don't know all of the people that they are giving the money generously too. They need to know that the money they give out has some education behind it and its not just given freely, even if it is still frustrating. My last mandatory checklist appointment is on the 8th of September and then I have to make a follow-up with my surgeon. If all goes well it's been predicted that I might have a piece of plastic attached to my stomach by the middle to end of October! fingers crossed everyone. Have a great Thursday!

Lean On Me

The more I talk to people and read people's stories successful and not so successful I see the support is a key factor. The people who have it seem to do great and go on to have allot of weight loss and have an easier time. The people who don't seem to struggle and "forget" to go to a fill or get to busy to plan a meal and just grab that milkshake because it feels so good going down. One of the step I have to accomplish before I go in for my surgery is to be set up in a support group. I think I should start looking for one now because as I can already tell it makes all the difference.

Gastric Seminar

Last night I attended the mandatory seminar which is the first step to about a 3 month process to getting my surgery. There were allot of people at the seminar that had it worse of than I did financially and with insurance steps than I do. I count my blessings that I am so lucky to have what I have. My next step isn't until the 31st of August when I go to a pysh evaluation to make sure I am doing this for all the right reasons. After that I have an appointment set up for the 2nd of September to meet my surgeon and go from there. I have about 10 steps in the process. Wish me luck and easy going. good night and sweet dreams :)

Four Steps Back :(

I had a ton of fun this weekend! On Saturday I made some wonderful cupcakes for a baby shower and did some not fun stuff like cleaning and grocery shopping but it had to be done. Then went to the baby shower and had allot of fun! It was a surprise and momma to be started to cry. It was so sweet :) we played some games which involved toilet paper, eggs, and getting baby food peas shoved up my noes. If fact I think I was still blowing some out last night but I could be mistaken. After we joined all the hubby's back at my house and we hung out ate and had a few drinks till about midnight and crashed. When I say we ate I mean we ate! My husband alone cooked chicken, burger, hot dogs and beans with weenies. Another couple brought a huge pan of pancit (which is sssoooo yummy!), Another couple brought a huge pan full of some kind of pasta with ham and cheese and mayo (which i didn't eat because it honestly looked rancid) then on top of that there was ribs, two layer tres leches cake, cupcakes, strawberries with chocolate dip, chips and dip, zucchini bread! All for eleven adults and two kids to eat it all. I did my best and ate a very very very small breakfast/lunch earlier in the day of only a yogurt so I could have some good food later and I did. I had a little of almost everything including a couple of cranberry and rum drinks. It was a fun night! On Sunday we got up and went to breakfast because my dear ol' hubby had a nice little hang over from, well hanging with the guys. Nothing cure's a hangover better then a greasy breakfast from Denny's so that's what we got. After that it was off to the Renaissance Faire! That was allot of fun and the hubby had never been to one so that was cool too. We spent about two and a half hours walking around the grounds looking at everything and of course everyone, but it was to hot and the hubs to hungover still to make a day of it so we went home. I was able to get a nice little garland crown that I wore for a little while that is just so pretty. Maybe when he is not so hung over we can go back and do more.

Morale of the weekend though is that I might have had fun but I ate like a fool and gained four freaking pounds!!!!

So Tired

Yesterday my husband had a command picinic. (company picinic for the non-navy folk) It was alot of fun actually but really warm. There was allot of really awesome looking food there that I wanted to eat the crap out of! but I only had a brat, watermellon, a small amount of mac and cheese, a small box mix brownie and some cheese and crackers. Plus allot of diet soda! I must admit I grabbed a piece of what looked like amazing fried chicken but gave it to my husband because, well skinny is going to feel way better then anything is going to taste right now. My venture into the food world tonight goes into a forbidden food for myself that I think I might just skip dinner to have. I am making cup cakes with a blended almond ed paste filled with fresh strawberries topped with a triple chocolate chip Cinnamon icing and decorated with another strawberry! Sounds fantastic right? Right. That's why I might just skip dinner to have one. I am making them for a baby shower I also made a diaper cake and little baby bottle filled with candie to match for a friend of mine. I have posted a pic for you to see what the diaper cake look like. Also if you don't know a diaper cake is a three tired cake made out of disposable baby diapers. While all the women do the all the men will be at my house hanging out drinking a few beers and probally playing poker and having a good time in there own right while we sniff fake baby poop...lol have a good weekend :)

Can't Believe My Eyes!

I got on the scale this morning and to my surprise saw that I was 332lbs!!! I love myself today! I haven't said that in a while but it's true today! Total I have lost 18lbs and hit my first goal! That 10lb mark. I know from experience that getting past that first 10lbs. is the hardest. Also that keeping the first 10lbs off is really hard let alone losing more once you get it off.

I had a cool moment that might not be rated a cool moment for every one ,but here it goes. When I wash my jeans then wear them again for the first time they are always tight but this last time they were not tight! they fit perfect. It gave me my first wow moment of this journey and I smiled so big I thought my husband was going to commit me for insanity.

Approval!!!!

I know two post in one day! Well I just got off the phone with my insurance company and I have been approved for the surgery! I have to call for an appointment with my general surgeon and see how things go from there! this went fast and I am so happy!!

p.s. OK so quick update I called and and was enrolled in the class I have to attend before talking to the surgeon. The class is on Monday night at 7pm. The hubby is going with because he has lots of things he wants to ask of course because he is being supportive and stuff this time around. It's so awesome it's at night to so Hubby or myself don't have to take time off of work to go! YaY!

Jerry

So I told you already that i tried out for the Biggest Loser and didn't get a call back, but while I was there I got to meet allot of the preaveous season contestants!! Including Jerry!! I love Jerry because if he can go on TV and lose all that weight at his age the all natural way I can definatly do it with an assist. He let me get a picture with him too so I thought I would share it with you.

Banding Appointment

So yesterday was my appointment I was looking forward to for a about a week and a half. I walked in and got weighed on the doctor's scale at 338lbs although my scale today put me at 334lbs which I like a whole lot better :) I told her how I didn't really have a ton of support last time around and this time I did and how I have worked through allot of issues that should have been addressed a long time ago that weren't and she said that I didn't have six months that she wanted me to get this surgery done as soon as I could. That sounds great to me! I love her enthusiasm about this. It makes me feel like I'm making a great decision. Normally any kind of military provider is just whatever and doesn't listen but this one is just fabulous and i have to say she is given two thumbs up by me! So now I have to wait till Thursday to give my insurance a call to see if the referral went through and go to the next step. Very exciting! I just took that first step to ridding a roller coaster with my husband again next summer!