Food = Crack

I hate food! I mean yes I enjoy eating, if I didn't I wouldn't be at this point in my life sitting here with an almost healed stomach and a piece of silicone around an organ. But I HATE FOOD! I hate my willpower and I hate how they make me feel about myself! I was doing so well until that first piece of chocolate on Christmas eve, now I'm like a crack addict who had there first hit in years. I do great all day then when I get home I make my dinner, Tonight it was spaghetti with mushrooms, onions and tomatoes. oh and don't forget the loads of parm cheese. and the 6 slices of turkey, and the Popsicle and the chocolate covered pretzels. It's like someone else takes over my body, goes to the fridge and says what can I eat right now. I know I won't have a change of habits overnight, but seriously does it have to make me feel 2 inches tall in the process!!! I am smack in the middle of bandster hell, my first fill can't come soon enough!