YaY It's Monday Again

Good morning blogger. It's Monday again. The worst day of the week to wake up early :(

You all know about my interview on Friday...I think it went very well! I will know more today. So finger crossed. Right now I get up at 0500 every morning for work and I am working by 0615. This job I wouldn't even have to wake up till 7!!! can you believe that! I will have to push some other stuff around if I get this job, but who cares it can be done. I would be able to get up at 0600 to work out.  and not have to leave for work until 0815! How awesome is that! I wouldn't have to take much of a pay cut. Also where I work now I probably put in a good 3 hrs extra a week and don't get paid because its not allotted. I know that doesn't seem like much but that's around $50 I'm losing a week in my time. It would fantastic to get this job. I actually scheduled an appointment for 0700 for myself later in the month knowing that it might not interfere with work. Brilliant! And if I'm still here and it does then who cars. I can't stand this place.

It  was warm this weekend finally! I took the dog for a walk and the poor guy didn't make it very far. I had to pick him up for a little ways. I know he is pathetic. We had some friends over for a barbeque last night. We made fuit salad, regular salad, corn on the cob(grilled), burgers, hot dogs and the hubby had chicken. I have finally conseded to the fact that I can't eat burgers anymore. They just don't like to go through the nice way. I took 2 bites last night and had to give the rest to the hubby. He was happy about it though. I ate a hotdog with some corn and fruit instead. It's sad because he make the best burgers too.

I still do not have a working scale. The one we have you have to do this little trick to get it to work right and at 5 am I am not in the mood to mess with it. If I can't step on it and it works then its not worth my time when I can barely finction that early. I think the hubs is going to order this fancy scale that records BMI too with our rewards points. So morale of the story I don't have a weight up date yet.

Well anyway have a great Monday everyone.

*HUGS*

Short and Sweet

If you are follwoing me and I am not following you leave your blog address in a comment for me to follow.

My husband told me I was beuatiful last night and almost made me cry in the process. Love him!

Yesterday I ate homade veggie lasagna, a whole personal size bag of rye chips, 9 cookies, and a strawberry smothie. I feel like crap this morning. Lots of bloating from the salt.

The scale at home is broken. I think its for the best today. Lots of water consumption will be done to fix issues.

I have confessed, so that is all.

*HUGS*

Jump Around

Do you ever have one of those days were you just don't feel like eating? I am having that day today. I let myself get to the point of nausea and feeling sick till I ate something this morning. I woke up hungry at 0430 this morning and didn't want to eat anything. I get this kind of feeling allot when Aunt Flow comes to town. I get super hungry but feel like such crap that I don't want to eat. The idea of eating makes me feel sick. I always end up eating the wrong things those days and even though I don't want to eat I go over my calories. I know, weird.

I cant drink coffee after noon. I used to drink so much caffeine I would have physical withdrawal symptoms. Headaches and my hands would shake and I would get sick to my stomach. I have been off caffeine for so long that I can't drink it anymore without it interrupting my sleep. Last Wednesday I drank coffee for psych and slept like crap, yesterday...the same thing. On Tuesday I had a small cup as well and slept like crap. I have to leave coffee to its morning slot if I have any at all. I don't really need it. It's allot of sugar because I don't drink it black. It's a little sad though because every once and a while I like that taste no matter what time of day it is.

This morning I am back to 295. I didn't get to work out yesterday and I drank a ton of water and didn't even get 1200calories in. I maybe had 1000. I just wasn't in need of anymore. I had bought Reese's pieces for a little treat during class because I knew I had eaten way under my 1200 range. I never even opened the bag. Mind you those Reese's pieces have been on my mind all freaking morning! I have been good and only had 320cals with a liter of water. Mainly because I just don't feel like eating today. I am sure that will change when I go to eat something that's not liquid protein.

Classes are going great and I am actually enjoying them. Have a great Thursday everyone and don't let the caffeine monster take your body over.

*HUGS*

A Little Late to The Game

But here is my after work out "glow"

I think I look more like a lobster bake then glowy. But hey it feels good!

Sorry about the bra straps, Totally forgot about that. Like my shower set up in the background?

Also I have discovered what I think is the best invention since toilet paper. Its called Buddy Fruit and it comes in a pouch!



This has been my pre-breakfast the last week or so to hold me over till my protein shake. The kind you are looking at is apple banana. It has a consistency of a smooth apple sauce. There is no sugar added in any of the flavors and its a full serving of fruit. Plus its resealable! Maybe it's the pouch but I love these things. You can get them at walmart and for the military peeps out there I grabbed mine from the commissary for 89 cents a piece. A little on the high side but for me worth it.

The scale has systematically moved back up with my last 2 days of workouts. I just don't get it and I'm not going to try to understand it. I am just going to know that I feel great when I workout and like crap when I don't. (still in the 200's though!!!)

I hope you all have a wonderfully fabulous day!

*HUGS*

The Four Letter Word

di·et1

     NOUN:
   1.   The usual food and drink of a person or animal.
   2.   A regulated selection of foods, as for medical reasons or cosmetic weight loss.
   3.   Something used, enjoyed, or provided regularly: subsisted on a diet of detective novels during his vacation.

No where in that definition does it say that diet means to starve yourself until you are so hungry that you binge. It doesn't say to go on fad diets were consumption is limited to cabbage soup or just chicken. No were in there does it say that chocolate is a four letter word or that french fries are the enemy.

What I see is that a diet is our normal consumption of not just food. I think it's time we turn that "diet" into a lifestyle and be good to ourselves.

What do you all think?

School, Eating and PB

I am pretty sure that sleep F@$%'s my band. I took a quick nap before my class last night, I ate one bite of chicken and made sure I chewed well and it got stuck. I am in the car slimming the whole way to class and praying for a red light so I can spit out the door. I finally got to class and PB'd in the parking lot. Of course one of my patients from work saw the upchuck and gave me a weird look and kept on walking. My PB was testiment to how well I chewed because what came up did not resemble chicken. What a fun way to start class for the night. At our first break I decided to heat up the leftover and try again. After an hour I got it down, along with about 5 gummy bears.

Class was great! I think I am really going to like psych. The teacher is awesome and funny so it make the time go by quickly. I have my second night of math tonight. Fun fun. Not a math fan.

Overall my diet has been stellar this week. I haven't gone to the gym once though! I know bad Shannon. I plan on going this weekend. Work has just been killer this week.

Still I can't wait to step on the scale on Saturday! I should see good numbers unless I royally mess my eating up. Spending time with the hubs during the week is proving to be hard. As its said though distance make the heart grow fonder, or is that sleep deprived. Both are proving true lol.

My dog is really missing me. I got home took a shower and laid down and he was laying on top of me within a minute. I didn't even have time to get comfortable. I feel for the guy though, both of us are taking night classes.

Lets see minus the hectic work and school week there is nothing of interest going on in my life. just the daily grind. I think we might go see a movie on Friday which is a normal for us. Here is something interesting. The hubby won tickets to a concert this weekend. I have no idea to who but it should be fun. It's the second week in a row that he won tickets from the radio station he listens to.

I hope you all have a good Thursday.

*HUGS*

A Fill Is In Order

Yesterday we went to Texas De Brazil and it wasn't worth it. I had a good time and the food was amazing but the overall experience wasn't worth it to me any more. I was able to eat way to much. I don't know were Phylis (my band) went for the night. Then afterword I felt like crap cause I was so overfull that I wanted to puke! I would say a fill is defiantly in order. Thankfully it was mostly protein. Carbs is what really kills me but holy crap I still cant believe I ate that much. I don't think I have consumed that much in one sitting since pre-band. I have an appointment in 1 week to get a fill. I am looking forward to it.

I am going to try my hardest not to weight myself again till next Saturday morning and see how this week goes. One I don't want to see how bad last night went and 2 I just need to give the scale a break. Stepping on it everyday isn't good for anyone.

Well it's Monday again and I have to head off to work. Hope you all have a great day!
*HUGS*

Crouching Kitty, Hidden Chocolate

I finally went to the gym again yesterday! It felt so good! I burnt 786 cals on the treadmill. and I'm not sure how much I did on the row machine, but I did 500meters for a cool down. My left foot thankfully adapts to pressure by the end of the day so I could do what I wanted. I got to take my time and just go at my own pace. Again though that dread snuck up on me on the way to the gym. I also got so tired that I had to fight every bone in my body not to fall asleep while I was driving!. I even had to pump myself up sitting in the car in the parking lot to walk in the front door. It was nice to see other heavier ladies there. Even if only in the locker room  : /

After the gym I came home and was cleaning up some stuff in the kitchen. I heard this super loud crash! I turned around and somehow my 4lb cat knocked over and shattered my glass top dinning table!! How the hell does that happen! So I spent about 40 minutes cleaning that all up and have to go shopping for a new table this weekend. Overall I'm not to heartbroken about it because I get a new table but cleaning up all that glass was a nightmare.

Also yesterday my husband got a pretty nice award from his command (work) and I got to go to that. I have never had the chance to go for an award ceremony of his before in the almost 6yrs we have been together. It was really awesome! I was able to get pictures and be all proud of him. Then got thanked for coming by his commanding officer (that's always awkward for me.) He was awarded another ribbon as well during the ceremony. He was given a NAM (navy achievement medal). This brings him up to 2. He is such a good sailor! To kinda celebrate because a friend of ours that he works with got an award to we all went to red lobster. I got a cup of lobster bisque soup and a half pound of crab legs (underwhelming btw, it turned out to be maybe 1/4 cup of meat). I also had 2 biscuits and half of a chocolate lava cookie with ice cream. The cookie had a hidden giant melt of chocolate on the inside! Holy mother of god it was nirvana on a plate. I think I might need another fill. It made me glad I worked out. I'm so glad I don't eat like that all the time. I would be 350lbs again.

It was a good day though and I am looking forward to furniture shopping this weekend. So thank you kitty! (the cats name the broke the table is Mr. Monster...appropriate?)

So have I hope everyone has a great weekend and while I am arguing with my husband about which table to get I will be thinking of you all and wishing I was here.

*HUGS*



My poor broken table :(



If It Wasn't For Chris...

I would have never gone to the gym last night. Just like I haven't gone to the gym in just about a week. Chris is my personal trainer and if I wasn't paying his ass extra and I could've cancelled the same day I wouldn't have gone to the gym lst night. But I did go, and I am so glad I did. After that week off from the gym and being sick I was really working up a good amount of anxiety about going back to the gym. I told you I started running with my husband and we go to a different gym on base were we live. Every time we go to run I get so nervous about it before hand. I have even told him and I can't explain why I just do. But this whole little explanation was to tell you all I am so glad that I went last night because now I want to go again tonight. I just had to get back into it. Especially because today is one of those crap days that equals crap food. ( I am not liking my job today)

I just wanted to say that I didn't get to far around blog land today but I will try to say my 2 cents after I work out tonight. Love you guys

*HUGS*

Holy Crapoli

I was going to do a post this morning how my new goal was to reach the 50lb mark before my 3 month bandiversary and what I would do to get there. I realised this morning there was no need for it when I stepped on my scale.

That's right ladies and gents. I had another 2lb loss! This gets me to 2 milestones. This puts me at a 50.8lb loss and I am sitting pretty in the 200's!!!!! I weight less then 300lbs!!!! Can you believe it? I can't believe it. It makes me want to cry from joy!
Also just noticed this puts me at under 100lbs more to lose! Wow what a great morning!

I know I know, some of you might be saying, well you have been sick. Of course you are going to lose weight if you can't get to much food down. I have been taking in more calories in liquid then I usually do. I have been getting about 1600 - 1800 calories a day for the last 2 days. Broth, protein shakes, pudding (sugar free). for dinner on Tuesday I was actually able to get a slice of pizza in and last night I had turkey and noodles. So I haven't been starving.

Morale of the story is...I am officially under 300lbs and hell frickin ya it feels fabulous!!!

Bye bye 300 club. I will not miss you : D

Also keep your fingers crossed for the hubby. He is trying to drop below 200lbs this week.

I do still feel a little crappy. I am coughing up stuff now which is a good sign. Blowing my nose allot and using lots of hand sanitizer at work today. Lets just hope the patients don't complain.

Thank you all for the well wishes.

*HUGS*

My Love For C3

My eye's have opened and shockingly I am standing in front of the vending machine at work. I figure well if I'm here I guess I will get something. I stare at the contents for a while and have the internal fight of do you need this? My stomach saying get the Reese's pieces, your running today they cancel each other out. My mind says you better not if you are going out for dinner tonight. So they compromise and my eyes find the lifesavers. I put the dollar in the machine and push H1...nothing happens, I push it again...nothing happens. My sorrow! The H button is broken. The internal battle begins again this time, well you have to get Reese's pieces now you will never get your dollar back. Then out of the corner of my eye what do I see...my saving grace! C3 you are perfect! 70cals and 12g of protein! Oh C3 where have you been all my life? Hiding between the Ho Ho's and the Pop tarts? I got your number now C3, I will be back for you again. I reach down, through the door..."Hello beef jerky!"

Rambling Questions

Well hello all! I know I have been posting at weird times lately. We have been swamped at work the last couple of days.

I cheated today and stepped on the scale. I'm back to 310.4 today so I am slowly getting back on an even keel. I rescheduled my personal trainer appointment for tomorrow at 4pm. I am really nervous about getting my butt kicked around. After having to cancel last week it was kinda a relief. Now I am in panic mode again kinda. It's completely different to work out at home doing cardio and a little weight stuff. I will let you all know how things go tomorrow when I am done.

Just to change things up a bit I am going answer 5 questions and would like you all to do the same. I am trying to get to know all of you the best I can since we are one big family in blog land :)

1.) Where do you see yourself 5 years from now? I'm not sure were I will be living but I hope to a wonderful thin version of myself with 1 kid and another on the way, with my wonderful hubby.

2.) How happy are you with your appearance? On a scale of 1-10 I would probably say a 4. I have gotten better over the last 40lbs but there is still tons of room for improvement.

3.) What is the one thing you wish you could change about yourself? I wish I could have a more free spirit like I did as a teenager. I have changed a ton since high school and I am held back allot by my weight emotionally. Physically the change will come but I have to work hard on the mental part.

4.) What is the one thing you like most about yourself? I would have to say my eyes. I have always like there shade of brown quite a bit.

5.) What is the one thing you regret the most in your life? Hurting the people I love the most. If I could take those moments I would in a heartbeat.

Now it's your turn :)

Tick Tick TIck Tick Tick

Today went well. I stuck to plan. breakfast: I had a protein shake snack: a chocolate rice cake and a fiber one bar Lunch: tuna with salsa and crackers Dinner: turkey breast stuffed with mushrooms, onions and a little crab meat, with broccoli (YUMMY) I actually drank 90 oz of water today!! Lots of bathroom breaks at work lol. The water really hasn't been an issue with me at all. On my pre-op diet I drank a gallon a day. After I cut back to two 1 liter bottles of water a day. If I don't consume a good amount of water I bloat big time! Total cals 1198 :D I think I am going to replace my morning protein shake with oatmeal. I get so hungry that I am nauseous only an hour after I have my protein shake. That's why I have 2 snacks in there. I am at the point in my life were everyone is getting married or having babies. I have been married a whole lot longer then most of the couples I know that are getting married but my clock has been ticking up a storm lately! Babies are popping out everywhere. 7 women at work that I know personally have had there babies or are about to have them and my brother and sister in law are expecting there 2nd in June. When I was 18 I had a miscarriage. It took me a good amount of therapy to be able to talk about the loss. It was very hard on myself and my husband. Since then I have really wanted a baby but it was the right choice to wait. Right now the only thing holding me back is my weight. It's kind of horrible to think that I am losing weight just to get chunky again, it seems so worth it to me though. Seeing babies everywhere makes me realise that this weight is making me put my life on hold right now. I don't want to wait past 26yrs old. I turn 25 in July so my time is ticking. It is frustrating to know that I did this to myself! I am pissed off that I let myself get so fat that I knew a pregnancy would be extremely dangerous to myself and any child I would conceive. It makes me so sad to know that that person I was before was ok with that. How selfish was that! To make a long story of emotions and wants short my clock is tick tick tick tick ticking. Just another reason to lose this weight the fastest and best way possible :)