Tick Tick TIck Tick Tick

Today went well. I stuck to plan. breakfast: I had a protein shake snack: a chocolate rice cake and a fiber one bar Lunch: tuna with salsa and crackers Dinner: turkey breast stuffed with mushrooms, onions and a little crab meat, with broccoli (YUMMY) I actually drank 90 oz of water today!! Lots of bathroom breaks at work lol. The water really hasn't been an issue with me at all. On my pre-op diet I drank a gallon a day. After I cut back to two 1 liter bottles of water a day. If I don't consume a good amount of water I bloat big time! Total cals 1198 :D I think I am going to replace my morning protein shake with oatmeal. I get so hungry that I am nauseous only an hour after I have my protein shake. That's why I have 2 snacks in there. I am at the point in my life were everyone is getting married or having babies. I have been married a whole lot longer then most of the couples I know that are getting married but my clock has been ticking up a storm lately! Babies are popping out everywhere. 7 women at work that I know personally have had there babies or are about to have them and my brother and sister in law are expecting there 2nd in June. When I was 18 I had a miscarriage. It took me a good amount of therapy to be able to talk about the loss. It was very hard on myself and my husband. Since then I have really wanted a baby but it was the right choice to wait. Right now the only thing holding me back is my weight. It's kind of horrible to think that I am losing weight just to get chunky again, it seems so worth it to me though. Seeing babies everywhere makes me realise that this weight is making me put my life on hold right now. I don't want to wait past 26yrs old. I turn 25 in July so my time is ticking. It is frustrating to know that I did this to myself! I am pissed off that I let myself get so fat that I knew a pregnancy would be extremely dangerous to myself and any child I would conceive. It makes me so sad to know that that person I was before was ok with that. How selfish was that! To make a long story of emotions and wants short my clock is tick tick tick tick ticking. Just another reason to lose this weight the fastest and best way possible :)