Feeling Good

you are all encouraging and wonderful on my pictures. It takes allot for me to post a picture of myself. I have pictures of me straight out of boot camp with collar bones that could poke someones eye out and still hate how they look. Self confidence has always been a major issue so I think I will make Fridays picture day and go along with what Drazil said and say things I like about what I see. It will be hard but I think worth it. 

this morning a victory! down 2lbs! 300.6. only .6lb back to were i was. I never moved my ticker because i new i would get back to that weight, but it would take time. So I am almost to the point of never seeing those blasted 300's again.

So that is all for now. I need to shower cause i look like i slept on the street last night. 

*HUGS*

Self Love

I told myself I would take 2 pictures and whatever came out came out and I would post them without altering or posing for them. This all in an effort to learn to love what I look like. So here goes nothing :) ok so maybe a little posing lol

pre workout 

after work yesterday still in my scrubs

Peeps Against the World!!

I am not even close to were I will be some day but today I feel strong! I feel like I have it all together. Ok, it might just be the adrenaline and endorphins talking from my workout an hour ago, but I feel strong. When I go to the gym and push myself farther then I have in a long time it gives me hope. When I get 826 calories burned in 45 mins I feel that I will not fail. When I eat right all day then have a great dinner, I feel like I can fight this battle forever.

...again it could just be the endorphins.

When I do what I am supposed to do in my head I can take on the world and bake a cake at the same time. ( a low fat sugar free cake of course )

I don't know were this is all going except that I feel good.

I saw today that over 80lbs was lost in the first week of the suddenly spring challenge...Wow! I am so proud of everyone! Careful though I am going to catch up now that I am back in full swing.

School starts next week so I am going to have to really push myself not to slack on my eating and time at the gym. I will have class on T/Th from 5-7:30pm and W from 5-10pm (not looking forward to those days. I am taking a math and psychology course. There are 8 week classes. Pray for me everyone I am going to need all the help I can get! I am thinking I will have to move my workout schedule to as follows: Mondays and Fridays at 3:30pm, Tuesdays and Thursdays at 8pm and then Saturday whenever I make it out of bed. In between there I will have to work and do homework as well. Not sure how this will all work out yet but I am going to try. Also I have to prepare all my meals the day before so I am eating good for me food and staying within my calories. I don't know how all you guys with kids do this! Your all modern day super women.

I haven't been commenting to much on peoples blogs lately and I feel like I am losing touch with my peeps! ( anyone else love those marshmallowy sugar coated birds as much as I do?)
I will do my best to stay in touch with everyone over the next couple of weeks. Please bare with me. I love you all like long lost family!!!

Well ta ta for now.
*HUGS*

Green Tea And The Easy Way Out

I love tea. I used to be addicted to coffee for a couple of years. At one point I was up to 4 Venti size Starbucks coffees a day with 4 espresso shots in each one. Talk about a waist of money! I would spend $20 plus a day just on coffee.

I was brought up to drink tea. So once I weened myself off the coffee I went back to drinking tea. Hot Chi tea, black iced tea, gogi berry green tea, honey vanilla chamomile. Here is my tea stock right now. Its only 9 boxes.

My love is now strictly with tea. Add a little squeeze of honey and you have a perfect cup of tea. I recently heard that green tea is great for weight loss. I did a little reading and found some facts to back up the claim. More info here So I think I will try to drink more of my green tea then. I have a citrus green tea and a gogi pomegranate green tea. Very tasty. I did read for any benefit you nee to drink 3-5 cups a day. This should be a tasty experiment. :)

I debated weather or not to post today. This from being just disgusted with my progress, but that would have been the easy way out. And lots of times you will see a blog go silent because the person behind it doesn't want to talk about there lack of progress. Then they come back and say that exact thing. So here I am skipping a step. I am not happy with my progress. I saw that 299 and kinda went nuts I think. (as nuts as you can get with a band) I decided to let my gym anxiety get the best of my and found a reason not to go more then twice last week. I thought it was a good idea to eat 3 dunkin doughnut muffins in one day. I also thought it was a good idea to eat dessert after having a heavy calorie ridden meal. I stopped preparing my meals for the next day. I let myself think it was ok because "I would have eaten a ton more pre-band". I am getting back on track tomorrow. I don't want to be one of those people that is always getting back on track. If I had known how hard this would have been before getting banded I don't know if I would have done it. I am glad that I didn't know though because now I am here with 1/3 of my extra weight gone. It scares me to death that I will fail and end up back were I was. I am so sick of failing. It seems to be all I can see in myself lately.

That brings me to another topic. (bare with me this is getting to be a lengthy post) My husband told me he has noticed that the only thing I am happy about with myself lately is my weight loss. I have a huge lack of self esteem. I have always had issues with low self esteem and that is one of the things I went over with my therapist last year. My issues with self esteem started very young. I have always been really tall, so that started it. Then I got heavy and was always on a diet imposed on me by others. My weight has always been an issue for many parts of my family and they all put their 2 cents in about it.

anyway this is leading to the fact that he said being proud of myself doesn't have to come from a huge achievement. When I choose a rice cake over chocolate or carrots over french fries. He in his own way told me how proud of me he was and that I should give myself more credit. I am going to try and live up to the woman he sees in me. He has always made me be a better person just by being with me. So back to the self improvement drawing boards and build that self esteem.

Also we bought a new table this weekend after Thursdays kitty kung fu incident. Here is what we got. It's a nice counter height for my tallness.

I hope you all have a great day :)
*HUGS*